Win A Dream Date With Schattie Abraham!

Ladies! Gentlemen! Ovines of all ages! How'd you like to win a dream date with rec.skiing.alpine's own resident kook Schattie Abraham? Just enter Parrot Networks "Win A Dream Date With Schattie Abraham" contest! Here's how:

1) Send an e-mail detailing how fat, ugly, slovenly misogynistic slobs turn *you* on! Spinal Tap once said "the looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand" - why let priests have a monopoly on finding out?


2) Describe your "dream date" with Schattie! Drumming in the wooods? Howling at "bitch feminists"? Or maybe kicking back in front of a roaring fire with a vintage mayonnaise talking about repressed memories of having anal sex with priests or macho (if completely untrue) memories of
being involved in the Vietnam war? Whatever it is you'd like to do on your date with Schattie, Parrot Networks would like to know!


3) Explain why YOU think Parrot Networks should put up the money to pay off Schattie's pimp (Bert Hoff) for your fabulous encounter! The lucky winner will be flown to Seattle for her dream date with America's favorite hopelessly insane catamite - Schattie Abraham!*

Entries will be displayed here. Good luck to all the contestants!

So e-mail us today, and enter!


copyright 1999, parrot networks

* If the "winner" prefers, a date with an actual hog can be arranged to save time, and preserve social standing in his or her community.