Welcome to the Biil Palmer FAQ

  1. Who is Biil Palmer?
  2. Why does he crosspost so much?
  3. Why does he suck so bad?
  4. Why is he a racist dickweed?
  5. Why is he crying like a baby about this?
  6. Why is Steve "Speedbump" Boursy the only one sticking up for him?
  7. What is this .sig libel he's babbling about?
  8. Should I be concerned about his legal threats?
  9. How do I join a Palmer fuckhead cascade?
  10. Why does Palmjob post followups to his own articles?
  11. Why doesn't Bill simply apologize for his racist blathering?

Who is Biil Palmer?

Bill (nicknamed "Biil", "Palmjob", "Patsy", "Hey you bastard, get away from those sheep!") Palmer, known better as wilhelp@ix.netcom.com, can be seen largely on alt.flame and alt.usenet.kooks. Not much is known beyond that. Usenet experts have determined that in order to generate the massive posts Palmer can create, seemingly on command, that he never leaves his house.

1. Why does he crosspost so much?

Biil is fond of reposting his gibberish to other newsgroups, usually when he's in the middle of getting his ass kicked on alt.flame or alt.usenet.kooks. So you can imagine the weary looks on the faces of alt.fan.speedbump and soc.culture.russian readers when they are confronted with Palmjob diatribes on their favorite newsgroups. What Bill is doing is hoping somebody...anybody will take pity on him and rescue him from his daily asskickings. Of course, nobody (well, almost nobody...see section 5) has done this, since he comes off as a simpering dimwit. Should Biil Palmer post on your newsgroup, repost a thrilling "fuckhead" cascade.

One interesting note- Steve "Speedbump" Boursy posted this gem to the internal newsgroup at my ISP (and employer), apparently thinking this would somehow prove some kind of point, shame me into silence, or the like. After this Boursy brush off got posted, Palmjob was there whimpering like the frightened child he is with this dreary piece of flaccid prose, apparently hoping that one of my managers would come crashing down on me for my "criminal libel", "monstrous" behavior, etc. What he go instead was a response from TIAC's CEO and my boss, Tim Jackson, telling him off. Sorry Palmjob, you'll need to take your pity train somewhere else.

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2. Why does he suck so bad?

The reason Biil gets flamed so often is not simply instigating flame threads...hell, anyone can do that. Biil has, for lack of a better word, a "style" that places him in the upper (lower?) echelon of pompous windbags in the history of writing. Since he doesn't know how to flame, he lets pompous verbiage, and mind numbing repetition take the place of wit and skill. The size of his posts are also gargantuan, a condition of his that lets size take the place of substance. For your horror, consider the following examples.

  1. Sample Palmjob blather
  2. More massive Patsy whining
  3. Yet more massive Patsy whining

Suffice it to say, an orangutan with a head injury could craft a better flame than Palmjob, as he will gleefully demonstrate again and again in alt.usenet.kooks .

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3. Why is he a racist dickweed?

Because he's a small minded fuckhead. Consider the excellent compendium of his varied racist blatherings collected by John Hausmann (hausmann@netcom.com) can be found by clicking here and here. You'll note the article ID's included for easy DejaNews reference. These are just some of his assorted small minded, bigoted blatherings.

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4. Why is he crying like a baby about this?

Because he's been caught, and he's getting his ass kicked all over the place. Consider one of his typically massive "I didn't do anything my racism is satire libel libel libel" backpedals which can be found here. What Palmjob fails to recognize is that he swims in his own shit. He seeks to make racist flames, and then duck responsibility for them when he got caught (eg, his sickening "bean" and "grease" lames of Raoul Xemblinosky who is of Mexican origin). Poor Palmjob- he's having trouble finding a white sheet to fit over his tiny head, so this page will serve as an archive of his blathering lest he ever try to claim he's never said what he's clearly said.

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5. Why is Steve "Speedbump" Boursy the only one sticking up for him?

Largely because it's part of the mating ritual of net.kooks. Biil Palmer's kooky cry is loud, and will attract people like Speedbump. I have been tussling with Speedbump for a long time (I recommend reading alt.fan.speedbump for the skinny on Speedbump Boursy, or check out the Speedbump FAQ). The only thing that could be funnier than Speedbump rushing to his aid would be John Grubor, which he did almost on cue, here.

For your entertainment:

  1. Speedbump coming to Palmjob's aid.
  2. The response gibberish like his tends to elicit.
  3. The one time someone takes Boursy or Palmjob seriously, and look what happens.

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6. What is this .sig libel he's babbling about?

To draw attention to what a race baiting dipshit Palmjob is, the following has been appended to a lot of the posts that are flaming Palmjob:

1) any Biil Palmer post.

2) Q: What do Biil Palmer and Mark Fuhrman have in common? A: Neither one has used a racial/ethnic slur. Just ask their friends.

As it has been pointed out, this is correct. Mark Fuhrman (of the O.J. Simpson murder trial fame) lied on the stand that he'd never used any racial slurs, and his friends could back that up. And we all remember his horror when the tape of him uttering epithet after epithet was played for him in court. Remember his squirming? This is exactly what Biil Palmer is doing when confronted with his "tapes". He'll cry libel until he's blue in the face- it's easier than him confronting the truth of his racist insults.

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7. Should I be concerned about his legal threats?

Hell NO. Display the same level of concern you would show if Steve Boursy threatened to sue you. Remember- truth is an absolute defense against "libel", and Palmjob sure as hell doesn't have truth on his side in this imbroglio.

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8. How do I join a Palmer fuckhead cascade?

It's fun and easy! Just look for one on alt.flame or alt.usenet.kooks, and join right in! Just add your tidbit at the long end of the "cascade" (they will usually say "fuckhead", but you can add your own contribution. See this example to get the idea) and watch the fun begin!

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9. Why does Palmjob followup his own articles?

It inflates his own sense of self importance. Patsy is so desperate for any kind of positive feedback to his posts, and for anybody to help him, he posts followup to his own articles. It's just as well- he's notoriously unable to make sense of attributions, so maybe he'll learn how to follow them is he only follows up his own posts (EDITOR'S NOTE: the odds of Palmjob learning anything from his innumerable mistakes are frighteningly small).

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10. Why doesn't Bill simply apologize for his racist blathering?

Because he's a racist


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